The Eternal Bachelor

Before leading you in to this treatise(yeah I am serious),I want to make it  abundantly clear that I m not sexist, chauvinist, anti- feminist, misogynist, woman hater or lacking in affection for opposite sex(definitely not the last one)at least not in the strictest of literal sense, though I am dedicated to the cause of bachelorhood inspired by the plight of the miserable species dwelling on mother earth often mislabeled  as happily married men(come on guys it’s a myth). And before proceeding further I want to add that it’s neither my wish nor my intention to deter any guy from entering the sacred bond of matrimony. My only hope is, that a bachelor before entertaining the idea of falling into this trap (I am sorry guys but that is the case) perhaps inspired by hopelessly romantic ideas and surge of male hormones (u know what I am talking about) should at least contemplate once rationally and look back upon his blissful bachelor life before taking a step forward in this direction and ending up saying “I do” at the altar because there is no coming back from there.

       There is no way of knowing who first came up with the crazy notion of such an arrangement between a man and woman known as matrimony. But perhaps it was a woman because it is hardly imaginable that one  of our  ancient ancestor(it’s a guy  I am talking about) sharing beverage with his bros in a bar(of ancient kind),watching exotic dancers(optional),after a hard day’s labor , being responsible for committing such an atrocity which will not just torment himself  throughout his life(forget sharing rounds of beer with bros, and exotic dancers-  are you kidding me)but will also haunt the generations of men to come.

      A bachelor according to Oxford dictionary is “a man who is not and has never been married” although a more accurate definition was given by American comedian Phyllis Diller who described that “a bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once” (absolutely true) and now I give you eternal bachelor “a guy who wants to and does maintain his status of bachelor hood till eternity or until terminated finally by death” (subject to extensions and amendments unless the spirit of idea is changed). Some great men have dedicated their success to effort and support of their wives but seriously guys in all fairness what choice did poor bloke has, he probably was just saving himself from the impending domestic strife (can’t blame the guy, everybody is entitled to self-defense) and who knows what other great things the chap could have further accomplished if only there was no distraction in his life (you know of what kind).

      Moving further let’s have a look upon the lives of some great eternal bachelors in history who maintained their state of blessedness and kept their “single” status forever. The list is very long but here we will deal with some examples. First and foremost, the divine founder of one of the largest followed religions (Christianity) in the world stayed bachelor forever (Dan Brown may not agree).Lord Buddha attained supreme wisdom only after he was free from the distractions of married life. Then comes Leonardo da Vinci, the bachelor who is considered to be one of the most brilliant men that ever walked upon the face of earth leaving his imprints on everything from science to religion and from philosophy to fiction. Just imagine could it have been possible for him to dedicate so much time and attention to more important things in life if he was ever married. He might have been  changing diapers or running domestic chores instead of painting Mona Lisa (that too only if his wife would have permitted him to do so, I mean leaving her husband alone in a room with a beautiful girl- quite unthinkable).And then comes Sir Isaac Newton  who revolutionized the world with his groundbreaking discoveries. It’s hard to believe that Newton, had he been married would have been sitting idly, all by himself under that tree on that fateful day when the apple fell stimulating the train of thoughts that led to discovery of gravity. Seriously man, the guy could have been at grocery store buying monthly supplies or taking his wife keeping her beauty parlor appointment(women were not that independent those days) but all in all there was no way he could have been there where he ought to be. The list of such remarkable and great bachelors is endless (will continue perhaps some other day) but I will end up with Beethoven, the German composer who mesmerized the world with his musical masterpieces and influenced the generations.

      In conclusion the concept of   “they lived happily ever after” is a myth and a happily married man is a rare entity (if there is one).The life of eternal bachelor is life of eternal bliss (I m not making this up, there is enough proof out there). In words of Oscar Wilde“ bachelors should be heavily taxed. it is not fair that some men should be happier than others”. And to sum up I am paraphrasing a women herself on the matter so that I can’t be labeled as being  biased  “a man in love is incomplete until he has married, and  then he is finished” came from famous Hungarian actress Zsa Zsa Gabor. I am not here to convince anybody of anything, these are just my views and beliefs on the subject. And for those who still think that they can find happiness in married life “by all means marry, if you get a good wife you will become happy and if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher”(Socrates).Being philosopher is not that bad eh.